In this corner the American Paul "the Buddah Bomb" Suit and in that corner...Amsterdam!

Okay, it's been a crazy few days. Amsterdam decided yesterday that it wanted to fight so I needed to take off the gloves and break it down! Here's what happend...

I woke up yesterday morning with a cold...not a bad one but a cough and a little stuffed up. The weather here has been a little crazy (really nice then really cold then really nice again), so it's no surprise I got a little cold. Of course the Dutch don't have anyting like Nyquil (What's up with globalization? Why hasnt it reached cold medicine yet?). They dont sell anything that takes care of everything, so you have to take something for the stuffy nose then someting else for the fever then something else for the cough and so on. Basically there is no help for that nightime sniffling sneezing cough (so you CANT fall asleep fast). Anyway, I was okay with that and doing quite fine riding aound the city on my bike (in essence making myself more sick - aren't I smart) until I broke my Amsterdam bicycle cherry and flipped over my handlebars (YUP that's right!). My knee is a little banged up and I'd swear my ribs are broken (I'm sure they're not but THEY HURT). I was actually pretty lucky and didnt get anymore hurt then your average 10 year old when he rides his bike. I've seen on average about 2 bike accident's a day and some have been really bad. The woman I swerved to avoid running into - thus causing the accident- was very helpful and apologetic. You see bikes always have right of way -even over people, cars and trains- so if you get into an accident with a bike and you're not on one it's your fault-no questions asked! Don't ask me what happens when 2 bikes get into an accident - WAY TO COMPLICATED! Anyway... too make a long story short the best part is now everytime I cough from the cold my ribs break again. So much fun! I'm actually doing much better today and I should be at 90-95% tomorrow. The upside is there is no better place on earth to be in pain than Amsterdam!!

Speaking of riding bikes in Amsterdam let me break down the finer points and main rules of riding a bike in Amsterdam...

If you're ever in Amsterdam and you want to ride a bike PLEASE follow these rules:

1. The Bike is king of the road and ALWAYS has the right of way. Even though this is the case don't forget that there are many mindless tourists on vacations that have no idea that they are risking there life by NOT riding a bike. Pedestrians cause most accidents in Amsterdam that involve bikes. So watch out for the people with backpacks, cameras, and fanny packs (of course if they're wearing a fanny pack you have my permission to run them over).
2. You ride a bike just like you ride a car. You share the same lanes as cars, buses and trains and are often riding inches from them. It can be quite scary-especially during rush hour. You can always spot a local because they're swerving in and out of lanes, cutting off cars and buses, and even often going faster then the cars. I have even seen people eat, apply make-up, talk on cell phone, amd smoke-all while driving 20 miles an hour in rush hour traffic-ON A BICYCLE! All I have to see now is someone have sex and give birth on a bike and then it will be official - cars are oboslete. Watch out for the locals. I always follow right behind them because I feel safer- as crazy as that sounds.
3. ALWAYS lock your bike up. Even if you're popping into a shop for a few minutes. There are 11 million bikes registered in Amsterdam and over 1 Million are stolen overy year! There are professional gangs that go around stealing bikes-especially from tourists. So be careful. Never forget...this may be Europe but it's still a big city and has the same issues as any big city. You actually have 2 locks on each bike (some have more) and as long as you secure it properly you wont have any problems. I left my bike outside a cafe in the Red Light District for almost 2 hours the other night - I left at like 3am, and it was fine. Just don't be your typical mindless American on vacation and you'll be fine.
4. You can't ride your bike everywhere. There are certain alleys or streets that are pedestrian only. The signs are very easy to follow and figure out...just pay attention to them.
5. At night you have to make sure your headlamp and break lights (yes all bikes have them) are working and are on. If you break rule 4 and/or 5 you will get pulled over (I kid you not) by cops also on bikes, and issued a ticket-just like driving a car.
6. Bikes -when you buy or rent them- have to be purchased with insurance. Again, just like with a car. Very funny.

That's pretty much the main things to keep in mind. I will tell you again though that I have experienced few things in life that have caused me as much joy as riding a bike around Amsterdam. It's AMAZING. Today I rode through Vondelpark (broken ribs and banged up knee and all) and had the best most peaceful time. Vondelpark is Amsterdam's answer to Central park (or actually it's the other way around). It's huge-in the middle of the city- has restaurants and cafes inside as well as ponds, streams, and fountains. It's so beautiful! From what I hear Central Park was modeled after Vondelpark (don't forget New York started out as New Amsterdam) and you can tell. I gotta tell you though-seeing both- Vondelpark wins hands down-sorry New York-the original takes the cake. Oh, and by the way Vondel means "Central"...so you know....

Speaking of New York it's so funny how many Europeans view it as America. That's America to them and that's it. New York and San francisco. That's all Europeans can talk about. Whenever someone asks me where I'm from in the states very few know Baltimore- and surprisingly not many know washington dc-they always ask me "is it near New york" or "is it on the east coast". It's so funny. Europe has no concept of what the heartland of America is like. When I tell people about it thier eyes pop out of thier head. They can't believe how different it is from thier experiences in manahttan (every european has been to manhattan it seems). Whenever I tell someone I lived in New York for a year thier interest level in me goes up 10 fold- so of course I'm playing it off bigtime!! Very Funny! Pat and Rose-the 2 of you would be very popular here! Although- I was in The Bulldog gift shop the other day and these 2 woman were in front of me and before I even heard them speak I knew they were from manahttan. They were buying the whole gift shop and were EXTREMELY picky about what they wanted (and let's be clear were talking just tshirts, pipes, pins, buttons and ashtrays here. Not that big of a deal. they were'nt at Barney's for christ sake) The girl behind the counter was SOOO rude to them because they were very annoying (very spoiled manhattan socialite type) and they were being rude back of course. I was so embarrassed to be an American. They made me sick. Once they decided what they wanted they pulled out thier platinum American Express and found out that Amex isnt accepted (it isnt it most places here because Amex charges a big fee to the merhcant) and then started throwing a fit. "How can you not take AMEX-it's a platinum-you know I could buy a car with this if I wanted to in the states- and i cant even buy a tshirt here." The sales girl then said "Well then maybe you should go back to the states and spend your AMEX money there-ARE YOU GOING TO PAY FOR IT OR NOT?" The bitches then stormed out....I had to go after that - as another American. So, I walked up to the counter and the woman was steaming and I said "Don't you just hate skinny rich american bitches-just think I have to go home to that." the really funny thing this guy next to her-who wasnt american- said" I didnt even think thier were any skinny woman left in America"! LOOOOOOOL

Well, the other news is BIG news....I Finally got my tattoo!!!!!!!!! WHOO HOO! I LOVE IT!!!! It's so cool. It's a tribal gemini symbol and I got it on my forearm. It didnt hurt that much at all-I was pleasantly surprised. I can't wait to show it off, and now whenever anyone asks me about my tattoo and where I got it from I can look far and away and say....ahhhhhhhh....AMSTERDAM!

Talk to you soon...only 3 full days left (BOO HOO-I'm going to be devastated)- BUT I"M ALREADY PLANNING MY NEXT TRIP NEXT YEAR!

Anyone want to come with????....